All the rants I want to put on Facebook but don't want to hurt someone's feelings

Rant #1: If you are on unemployment, welfare, food stamps, Medicaid, or WIC, you do not have the right to post this on your Facebook.  I'm all for getting help when you need it, but you have to know that people are reading it thinking, "YOU ARE the ghetto family!!"

Rant #2: No matter how beautiful you are, you should not post that people mistake you for Princess Kate, or that Sandra Bullock is your long-lost twin.  It does not make people think, "Wow, she's beautiful on the inside, too!"  It does, however, make me want to punch you in the throat. 

Rant #3: How is it possible that sane people think it's okay to spend over $1500 on a banquet to celebrate our children graduating from EIGHTH GRADE??  All they had to do is show up, and it is kind of required by the government.  I'm not impressed.  $20 per person (including the one year old), $20 for an embroidered hoodie(?!?!?!), $400 to rent a sound system, projector, and photo booth.  Really?  P.S. We live in Indonesia-why do they need hoodies??

Rant #4-12: I don't want to buy body wraps, makeup, skin products, or nutrition shakes from you.  I don't want to see 12,000 pictures of you with your lips puckered.  It's weird.  I don't want to see a picture of your porch in the snow.  I don't want to know how "clean eating" has made you skinny and therefore insanely happy.  Happier than my french-fry-eating-self will ever be.  It's possible to be happy without being skinny, right? right???  (please say yes)  

Rant #13: If you are an atheist who thinks it's funny to mock religion, why not mock all of them instead of sticking with mocking Christianity?  Could it be that mocking Jews or Muslims would make you guilty of a hate crime, while mocking Christians is fun and easy and a display of your first amendment rights?  And any kind of rebuttal is met with two classic replies, "If God is real, he doesn't need you to defend him" or "That's exactly the kind of lame response that I would expect from you (implying that since I follow a Savior that goes against Mr. Atheist's so-called reason, I must be a complete moron, incapable of forming a single intelligent thought.)."   Huff. 

Rant #14: I posted an article about Grace today, and how it's so, so necessary in all of our relationships.  And Facebook.  I'm a big fat hypocrite.