An easy dinner

...or so I thought.  Make your own pizzas!  With pre-made crusts!  How hard could that be?  It went something like this:

1) Come home after working all day at the English Center. 
2) Unload groceries, get ingredients ready for these "easy" pizzas.
3) Turn on Mickey Mouse
4) Change dvd because first Mickey Mouse is scratched
5) Stare at giant 4 lb can of tomato paste that I purchased to save money on the mass amounts of tomato paste we use every month.  I'm not kidding, we use it a lot.
6) Decide I'm not mentally prepared to deal with the leftover 3.9 lbs of tomato paste after I make the sauce from scratch, so I use spaghetti sauce (knowing full well that Jeremy's going to freak out that I used his $4 jar of Ragu to make pizzas).
7) Load up two small children so I can drop Matt off at the school basketball game.  Drop Matt off.  Carry both kids back into the house in torrential downpour.  Did I mention Caleb was only wearing his boxers?  Bad parent alert!
8) Shred mozzarella cheese that's reeeeally squishy.  Too squishy to shred, really.
9) Stop Nate from playing in the cleaning products.
10) What's that noise? Why is Nate soaking wet?  It's the bathroom sink running until the whole bathroom is flooded.  Nate has tracked water all over the area in front of the bathroom.
11) Slip and fall in water.
12) Why is that water brown?  Because they shut off the water for the millionth time to "maintain water quality" and now it's all brown.  Flush toilet 4 times to get rid of brown water.  Remind myself to be thankful that a) we have water and b) there's not a grosser reason for its brown quality.
13) Cut ham and pineapple for pizza.  Yes, hallelujah, real ham. 
14) Stop Caleb from spraying Nate with water.
15) What's that smell?  Change Nate's diaper.
16) Light oven (read: risk life, or at least eyebrows, by throwing a match into the bottom of the oven to light the gas).  Wonder why they can't invent a gas oven that lights itself in this country.  Or why we can't afford to buy one, if such a thing exists.
17) Stop Caleb from throwing Nate's diaper out the hole in the screen door (into the torrential rain).  Fail.  Go into the torrential downpour to retrieve the dirty diaper.
18) Receive text that Jeremy is having an allergic reaction at the Center.
19) Send medical advice via text message.
20) Put pizza together.  This takes 5 seconds.  
21) Text Jeremy to make sure he's still breathing.  He is!
22) Play football with Caleb until pizza is ready. 
23) Allow children to eat in front of the tv because I'm TIRED!!
24) Give them oreos to keep them sitting still a little longer :)

Glad I didn't attempt a real meal or it might have resulted in complete mental breakdown.