Aren't you glad you're not me?

So, I usually just like to put pictures and a little commentary on this blog, because, face it, most people are just here for the kid pictures.  But, my internet is so slow that I'm unable to upload any pictures tonight. So I was trying to think of what is something no one wants to see pictures of anyway, and I thought of the perfect story.  One that will make you a) thankful my internet is slow, and b) thankful that you're not me.
It all started when Jeremy had to go to Malaysia for a visa run/retreat/training.  He was gone for 9 days, leaving me with the kids.  For nine days.  Nine.  Kelly has after school activities every day, which means that it's basically Matt and me trying to keep things going.  Especially on days I had to work at the English Center, Matt had to babysit until I got home. 
One day I came home to find Caleb frantically washing his hands, and a soccer ball in the toilet.  He said, "I'm trying to flush the poop."  Turns out the soccer ball was covered in poop.  What poop?  We don't have any animals. 
I should back up one more step.  When we potty trained Caleb we said he could pee in the yard.  At some point my Aunt Patty (who was visiting from America) said he could poop in the yard too, that's fine.  Her theory was that he would quit it pretty quickly after that.  Well, he *did* quit pooping in the yard, but not before he kicked a soccer ball into it. 
So he brought the soccer ball inside to flush the poop (still attached to the ball).  He dropped the ball a couple times, leaving soccer ball shaped poo marks on my tile floor, then shoved the ball in the toilet and swirled it around.  Insert heavy sigh here.
About five minutes into the cleaning process, Matt came downstairs.  He said, "Hey, I thought Caleb was watching tv..."  I said, "Just leave, it's too humiliating to have anyone watch me do this..."  We went through a lot of bleach that day.
And that's why you should be glad you're not me.