That mom...

You know that mom?  That one that you said you'll never be?  The one who screams at her children at Aldi's and says things like, "If you move one inch so help me I'll (insert idle threat here...)" and "I'm going to beat you so bad"?  The one you're sure has no education and no clue how to be a mother, otherwise she would not act like that?  That's who I became last Saturday.  I was frantically trying to get our family packed for a week-long trip, for which we needed to leave the house in a few hours.  Jeremy and the big kids were gone for the morning.  So I parked each child in front of a different TV.  They were separated by TWO baby gates.  The paint was tightly locked in the craft trunk.  Someone remind me to thank my mom for giving Caleb that Melissa and Doug lock puzzle for his birthday...

It's not even what you see in the photo that made me so crazy, it's the 1 year old who had to be rushed into the bathroom because his entire face was painted yellow that pushed me over the edge.  I was stumped; two yellow kids, I was the only one in the house...what to do??  The Aldi mom was my go-to move. 

Look closely and you'll see the little butt print in the middle, with smeared feet prints near the wall and hand prints all around.  This is where I threatened him that he had better stay or else.  You'll see in the big picture that he is, indeed, not in this spot. 

The rest of the paint was dumped down his diaper.  Because that's where we put extra paint, I guess.  After I got Nate cleaned up and determined that he wasn't going to be blind forever I went back to get Caleb.  As I was dragging him into the bathroom, still in Aldi Mom mode, he said in his sweet voice, "I just wanted to be like Mickey Mouse... Mickey painted Buster and Pluto...I want to be like Mickey Mouse..."  And so in the end I did not beat him so bad, I just washed him off and put him to bed.  Then cleaned all the paint off the hardwood floors, the couch (thank goodness it's vinyl), the pillows (washable!), the stuffed animals (they were yellow anyway), and the Exersaucer.  I left it on the walls because I thought one day I might think it's cute.  I'm not there yet.